Jesus and the Weather
The next day Mr O'Dea says -All right McCourt, read your composition to the class.
The name of my composition is...
The tilte, McCourt, the title.
The title of my composition is, "Jesus and the Weather."
What?
"Jesus and the Weather."
All right read it.
This is my composition. I don't think Jesus Who is our Lord would have liked the weather in Limerick because it's always raining and the Shannon keeps the whole city damp. My father says the Shannon is a killer river because it killed my two brothers. When you look at pictures of Jesus He's always wandering around ancient Israel in a sheet: It never rains there and you never hear of anyone coughing of getting consumption or anything like that, and no one has a job there bacause all they do is stand around, eat manna, shake their fists and go to crucifixions.
Anytime Jesus got hungry all He had to do was walk up the road to a fig tree or an orange tree and have His fill. If he wanted a pint He could wave his hand over a big glass and there was a pint. Or he could visit Mary Magdalene and her sister, Martha, and they'd give him His dinner no questions asked,He'd get his feet washed with Mary Magdalene's hair while Martha washed the dishes; which I don't think is fair. Why should she wash the dishes while her sister sits out there chatting away with our Lord?
It's a good thing Jesus decided to be born Jewish in that warm place because if was born in Limerick he'd catched the consumption and be dead in a month; therefore there wouldn't be any Catholic Church and there wouldn't be any Communion or Confirmation and we wouldn't have to learn the catechism and write silly compositions about Him.
The End
Tis' an extract of my favourite book, Angela's Ashes*, besides "Jesus and the Weather" one is able to find several delightful, exuberant, impressionistic and funny lines like the "knee trembler" which I'll try to post later on...rather to have my own by now ;-)
*McCourt Frank, Angela's Ashes: A Memoir of a Chilhood, Harper Collins, London, 1996. pp234-235
Anytime Jesus got hungry all He had to do was walk up the road to a fig tree or an orange tree and have His fill. If he wanted a pint He could wave his hand over a big glass and there was a pint. Or he could visit Mary Magdalene and her sister, Martha, and they'd give him His dinner no questions asked,He'd get his feet washed with Mary Magdalene's hair while Martha washed the dishes; which I don't think is fair. Why should she wash the dishes while her sister sits out there chatting away with our Lord?
It's a good thing Jesus decided to be born Jewish in that warm place because if was born in Limerick he'd catched the consumption and be dead in a month; therefore there wouldn't be any Catholic Church and there wouldn't be any Communion or Confirmation and we wouldn't have to learn the catechism and write silly compositions about Him.
The End
Tis' an extract of my favourite book, Angela's Ashes*, besides "Jesus and the Weather" one is able to find several delightful, exuberant, impressionistic and funny lines like the "knee trembler" which I'll try to post later on...rather to have my own by now ;-)
*McCourt Frank, Angela's Ashes: A Memoir of a Chilhood, Harper Collins, London, 1996. pp234-235
